i had a little too much fun snapchatting at target today…
Ruffles! Ruffles and buckles! Gimme gimme gimme!
See THIS IS what you do with ruffles!!
I WANT IT
Uhhh my uterus
The worst kind of writer’s block is the kind where you know what’s going to happen and how it’s going to happen and everything other single detail but for fuck’s sake, it won’t turn into words.
if u snapchat me expecting me to look cute i have bad news for u
wait who thought it was in the usa
ukraine the 51st state
stop romanticizing the idea of becoming so dependent on another human being that you cannot function adequately without their presence goodbye
how to give a handjob:
1. grab boner mid-shaft
2. pump until confetti is released
mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
- falling asleep on someone’s chest
- wrapping your arms around each other
- synching heartbeats and breathing slowly
- falling asleep in big t-shirts and underwear
- forehead kissies and murmured affections
- MONSTER TRUCKS
Putin on the tricks.